Ahh had kinda okay day today, went to see my friends and played some Rayman 1. I haven’t played that one in years, and oh my god it was hard! All the crazy enemies (especially that M*THERFUCKER at music land, you know that crazy cricket dude). I had a blast tho! I need to setup my own PS1 and see if they still work, I have few amazing games to it: Batman Forever, Rayman1, Croc and Spyro3. I want moar!
Okay but next to the real topic, I needed some uplifting and inspiring thoughts and I decided to write some of my thoughts here. I’m starting new internship tomorrow and I’m super excited about it! There are some awesome people there and so much things that I’m interested in. I’m just starting to dye my hair so I have moments between it to write something down (I hate my hair, why it has to be so hard??).
Time to time I wake up to think what I have accomplished. I have done things that I don’t have a clue how to do them but I have pushed forward! I’ve done some mistakes and I’m trying to just learn from them, even tho they creep into my mind and I’m all like ” arrrgghhh whyy..”. But if you can’t learn from them, then you are f*cked up. Almost 65% of my awake time consists self doubt and “I don’t know nothing – why I’m even bothering to do this” BS, but if you don’t even try, you have already lost.
It’s super inspiring to see people that are successful and they do these amazing things just because they can and want! They’ll find a way to do it, even tho it means hard work. Like I said I have a huge respect for these guys and girls, but at the same time it makes me feel super tiny and unsuccessful! BUT that is a good thing, I’ve learned (slowly) not to think like that (well at least try, nobody’s perfect). With the help of my friends and boyfriend, I compare what I have done, with the old me. You know, what I was doing 2 years ago and BOOM I have a huge improvement on my hands! Even though someone else might say, I haven’t done that much, I think that I have done!
Learn to SAY NO. no nonononooononnoon. I think this would apply to life itself pretty well also, but I’ve noticed I felt like an adult when I did this. I got this possibility at IGDA Finland to be Volunteer Coordinator. Of course I took it. Hey a possibility to do some awesome stuff hooray who cares what it is, it’s game industry woop woop! Well I’m pretty awful at coordinating myself, how in the world I was suppose to coordinate ~30 people? I felt pretty depressed because I was not doing good job and I didn’t like it, but I didn’t want to quit it! I was afraid of showing everyone that I again failed. But somewhere I gathered up my courage and did it! I felt SUPER GOOD. After that I started to focus on the right things that interest me.
That leads me to the problem number 249024289. I’ve been living my whole life, thinking what other people think of me. It builds stress and unsuccessful relationships and makes you feel like a poo. But I can see that I’m slowly changing, I’m starting to wear clothing and make up that I like and more the “personal” outcome the better.
But my overall feeling is pretty good. Last weekend I got to to some Xbox One promoting and I had a blast! Shame there weren’t many people that day, and I didn’t know what the buttons were (I KNEW THE GAMES, but I didn’t think I need to explain how you play them). Well now I’m hell of a wiser with Nhl16, Fifa16 and Forza 6. Yep my favorite games of all time. I did really enjoy that, I wish I can do more in the future. Uh-oh pretty fuzzy post to be honest, but maybe it just reflects my own head at the moment! Below some pics from the Xbox One Tour.
Wish me luck for the next 3 months ^u^